We’re Not in a Competition to Be the Most Exhausted

This week I shared a quote about women not being in a competition to work 24/7, and I haven’t stopped thinking about it since.

It hit me right in the chest.

Because whether we say it out loud or not, so many of us are living like we’re trying to prove something — working nonstop, taking care of everyone else, and then wondering why we’re exhausted and still feel like it’s not enough.

Working all day. Running kids everywhere. Keeping the house afloat. Trying to squeeze in a workout. Trying to eat halfway decent. And somehow still feeling behind.

Like we’re losing a competition no one even asked to join.

And the truth is… most of us aren’t choosing this pace.

It’s not like I can opt out of a 40–50 hour work week. I’m not missing the boys’ games (nor would I want to). Laundry still needs to get done. Dinner still needs to happen. My health still matters.

So the answer isn’t “do less.”

The real question is: how do I do all of this without completely draining myself?

Because I refuse to live in survival mode.

I’m not chasing balance anymore — honestly, balance feels fake. Instead, I focus on removing stress where I can and replacing it with small pockets of me time. Nothing dramatic. No spa days. No disappearing for a weekend. Just small, repeatable things that make life easier.

I get up early and move my body before the house wakes up. Thirty minutes and it’s done. I take walk breaks at work with coworkers to break up the hours of sitting. I schedule lunch with coworkers in the cafe and eat lunch away from my computer like a normal person.

My workouts and weekly meal plans are already mapped out for me, which saves more time than anything. Recipes, grocery lists, nutrition tracking, daily exercise — it’s all there in my FASTer Way app. No thinking. No decision fatigue. I just follow the plan and move on with my day.

Every Thursday night I order groceries in the store app and do pickup. I don’t even step inside. That one habit saves me at least an hour every week and keeps me from tossing random “extras” in the cart we don’t need. Game nights mean crockpot dinners. I cook extra on purpose so leftovers become lunch the next day. Breakfast stays simple and consistent so I’m not reinventing the wheel at 6am.

Less decisions equals less stress. Every time.

Even my downtime multitasks. I love to read — always have — and my Kindle says I’ve read for 285 weeks straight and finished more than 75 books last year. Now that I travel more for work, I can’t physically read in the car, but audiobooks count. So my commute turns into “me time.” It calms my brain and fills my cup instead of feeling like lost time.

Date nights look different too. Sometimes it’s dinner out. Sometimes it’s sitting next to my husband at a basketball game or bike race, laughing between plays. And honestly? That counts just as much.

Is my life slower or less full? Not even close.

I still take on things that probably stretch me too thin sometimes (team management… still questioning that one). But I’ve learned that growth and discomfort usually travel together. If you’re not willing to learn, stretch, or try something new, you don’t grow — and neither does anyone around you.

A little tough love is part of the deal.

But here’s what I’m not doing anymore: competing to be the most exhausted.

Burnout isn’t a badge of honor. Overworking yourself doesn’t make you more valuable. And running yourself into the ground doesn’t prove anything.

It just makes you tired.

This season of life isn’t slower. It’s not quieter. It’s definitely not less full.

But it doesn’t have to feel like survival mode either.

I’m not chasing balance. I’m building systems that protect my energy — short workouts, grocery pickup, planned meals, walks with friends, audiobooks in the car. Little pockets of me, stacked together.

Because burning yourself out isn’t success. It’s just burnout.

We don’t win anything for doing the most.

We win when we feel strong enough to actually enjoy the life we’re working so hard to build.

And that’s the version of success I’m choosing.